Thursday, April 11, 2013

Why NRE Sucks!

I recently wrote about why NRE is awesome. I still think it is. I stand by what I said then.

But NRE also sucks, and here's why: it significantly impairs your decision-making ability.

Being in love is exactly like being on drugs. And, while that makes you feel great and want more, it also makes you make poor choices.

Think back to all the things you did while "in love" that you later looked back on and wondered what the hell you were thinking. It's not a short list, is it?

Here are some things people do when "in love" that are really and truly terrible ideas:

  • Neglecting other people you care about in order to focus attention on your partner (especially children, parents, friends, or other partners)
  • Breaking agreements with other partners because you want something with your NRE partner
  • Slacking off at work to focus more attention on your partner
  • Compromising your principles to benefit your partner or the relationship

These are unquestionably bad ideas that you would never give credence to if you weren't so dopey with yummy neurotransmitters.

The good news: you're not a horrible person. We all do this shit. We all get so caught up in getting our fix with our partner that we stop taking care of the details of life.

The bad news: you're the only one who can get yourself out of whatever mess you've gotten into. You're responsible for your actions. Have you made some really bad decisions because of NRE? Time to own them.

This week, spend Saturday night with your kids instead of on a date. Work some overtime to make up for that long lunch you took with your sweetie. Apologize to your other partner(s) for letting them down when you stood them up to go out with your new flame. Discuss separating your finances from your new squeeze who doesn't ever seem to be able to keep a job and has moved into your house.

It's important to enjoy the blissful feelings NRE gives you, but temper them with a hefty dose of logic and reason. Remember that your bliss won't last, and consider if you'll still feel good about that decision once you're back to baseline.

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