Thursday, April 24, 2014

How to Give a Great Blowjob

Photo courtesy of Emmanuel Szép
Have you ever wondered if your partners like it when you go down on them? Have you ever gotten a sincere compliment after blowing your partner's mind with your oral skills? Would you like to?

For our purposes, "blowjob" here means oral sex in general. The gender of your partner doesn't matter, nor does your own gender. Although specifics about technique will vary, the principles are the same, regardless of who's giving and who's receiving.

So, how to give an amazing blowjob! There are basically three key points to remember.

1. Communicate.
This doesn't just mean asking, "What do you like?" The truth is that most people either don't know exactly what they like or can't describe it even if they do know. And what a person likes with one partner may not work with another. In fact, what a person likes on one day may not be what they like another day. Instead, pay attention. If you speed up, do they start breathing harder? If you decrease pressure, do they begin moving their hips? Are they making happy, yummy noises? Feel free to ask things like, "How is this?" or, "Do you like this speed?" Get specific feedback and remember what they've told you (both with their words and with their body). And hey, feel free to discuss it afterward! They'll likely appreciate that you want to do an even better job next time. Plus, you'll start getting those compliments you're wanting.

2. Make a mess.
Blowjobs are messy. Don't be afraid of drooling. If you want to finish up with your hair all perfect and your face clean, you might as well just stop reading now. Sex is messy, and you're going to get covered in it. So is a lot of what's around you, quite possibly.

Remember that body fluids coming from your partner indicate they feel really good. Your goal is to get them to feel so good their juices get all over you both. Trying to contain the mess means you've shifted your focus from where it should be (your partner) to where it shouldn't (absolutely anything else). Which brings us to....

3. It's all about them.
This should be obvious, but I'm not sure it always is. Giving a blowjob is about getting your partner off. It's about making them feel amazing. It is entirely, totally, and in every way for them, not you. Your hand may cramp. You may be in an awkward position. Your jaw might get sore. You might have difficulty getting a breath sometimes. Deal with it. You're not the one you're doing this for, remember? (A small caveat: if you are in actual pain, stop. Obviously. But this is pretty rare, I think.) Keep in mind that they'll be doing the same for you soon, and you won't want them to stop at the crucial moment because their jaw is getting tired. Right?

Giving someone a mind-blowing orgasm, making someone feel so good they knock things off the nightstand (table, backseat, whatever) is the best feeling in the world. Learn to love being the source of someone's pleasure. Revel in how good you can make someone feel. Let their pleasure be the source of your arousal.

In general, be open to experimentation, communicate a lot, and have a great fucking time. Literally.

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